I had never taught her before and she was friendly and chatty before class when I introduced myself to her, but as we journeyed into our practice, I began to notice an un-easiness to her that deepened as the minutes ticked by. I kept my voice calm, talked a bit more than I usually do during yin, and tried to pour out good, calming energy to guide her into a peaceful acceptance of the now. As the class prepared for savasana, hoped with my entirety that she would find a few moments of rest from the anxiety that had swirled around her like a shroud during class. But watching over the class as they relaxed into their savasana I would see her slip into rest for a moment or two and then shudder and twitch back to consciousness.
Having suffered through PTSD and anxiety disorder, I wished that, even just for a moment, I could let her know without singling her out that it could be okay. That it would be okay. That if she continues to try and find her way, it will happen. That the feelings of anxiety aren't permanent. That they didn't define her. That I knew with my whole being she could overcome them. But that wasn't my place. I was a teacher, in a morning yoga class, who knew nothing at all about her. It would have been awkward and unprofessional for me to do so.
As I sat in sukhasana, my students in savasana, my heart spoke to me and I accepted that I couldn`t confront her, and that even if I could, it may be unwelcomed interference. It wasn`t my place. So I let some of the wealth of beautiful energy that had built up within me over the weekend seep out and led the class into a final meditation meant to evoke feelings of calm and invited them to take that into their day. As we sat in meditation, I let my whole heart shine in the genuine hope that, even if it was only for a second, she felt calm and centered and unworried. And then I let it go. It isn`t for me to meddle in another`s journey, or project my feelings on to someone else`s situation. We each walk our own paths and the best support we can give each other is open acceptance and un-conditional love. It`s the best support we can give ourselves too.